23 August 2006

Awww...bloody hell

I'm having my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow and I'm fucking scared. Probably more scared than I've ever been in my life...actually, that's a lie...in Cambodia, there was this van with a jerry-rigged gas tank sitting in the front seat and feeding directly through the floor into the motor. I was convinced the van was going to blow up and and I was going to die a stupid tourist. Good thing it didn't.

Last year, when I went in for a consultation, I passed out after they had discussed side effects and when they started pointing to the nerves in my jaw x-ray. So...it's taken me a while to go back and now I'm having all these mini panic attacks that involve visions of bloody gums and nasty toothcracking. So far, the only thing I found that helps is to think of the stoic badassness of people being tortured in action flicks: Kill Bill, V for Vendetta, Boondock Saints...

And actually, I'm quite surprised at how effective it is.

See, violent movies don't really encourage violence, they just help wimps get through dental surgery.


Mel said...

Breathe. Wisdom teeth outage is really not that bad. I'm one of the folks that's fascinated by surgeries she's about to undergo, but it actually is pretty cool (my mom used to be a dentist, and as a little kid I'd read her old textbooks describing the procedure). They do a ton of these every year for scared-stiff kids, and it turns out all right. 99.999% chance those side effects won't happen; your nerves will not be severed, your face not permanently deformed or scarred, within two weeks you'll be just as you were before minus the extra teeth.

You're out cold for all of it, so all that happens is you'll wake up with your mouth packed in cotton and your brain feeling like it's packed in cotton. There will be dull, throbbing pain for a few days, assuming you remember to take the painkillers (it'll be hard to forget, trust me), and you will look like a chipmunk and be incapable of consuming solid food for a week. All that see you will be under the compulsion to treat you with great courtesy and buy you ice cream (and when your mouth heals, Any Food You Want). And then you can join the proud order of the I Don't Have My Wisdom Teeth Any More society.

Is this your first surgery? It wasn't mine, which helped alleviate a lot of terror.

ErinD said...

They're required to tell everyone all the possible consequences of what could happen if they hit a nerve for legal reasons. I have yet to meet anyone who's had anything worse than a week or two with a sore and bloody mouth from getting rid of their wisdom teeth. And I know nobody who lost feeling in their face, or they wouldn't have complained as much, lol :)

Look at the bright side - I got mine out the day before Thanksgiving:(

Mmm, blended mashed potatoes

Laura said...

Thanks for the comfort. =)

It's over and I'm not dead. And I can kind of feel my face again. That's exciting.